The wonderful and interesting Schmutzie (of Milkmoney or Not, Here I Come) paid me the great honour of giving me a "Thinking Blogger Award".

*Blush*

Given the amount of silliness and side-tracked thoughts that I let myself indulge in on these pages, I surprised and pleased, and for the first time I empathize with Sally Field: "You like me, you really really like me!" I have to say that I really admire Schmutzie, the thoughts she sets on page and wonderfulness that is herself and her blog, so its lovely that this came from her.

:P I digress: Tee hee. I feel a *bit* like when I won the valentine's day cake at school in grade two. It had those spicy cinnamon hearts on it and white gooey frosting and the inside of the cake was dyed red (always a dubious choice). I had a "reaction" to the red food dye and ran around like crazy after eating the cake, so my teacher had to send me home. OK, I don't feel exactly like that, but a little bit.

So, it seems that there are some rules for this award (because bureaucracy of some form never fails us), which are the following:
Here are the blogs on which I would like to bestow the thinking blogger award (I would happily give one back to Schmutzie, but I don't think that's allowed. Plus she already has one.):

• Linda of the Grumpiest Girl in the Room for her gentle yet blunt and humorous insight into life and living.
• Neil of Citizen of the Month for both his wonderful "Great Interview Experiment" but even more for his great wit.
• Randall Munroe of xkcd and of his own blag for being smart and funny, and for bridging the gap between geekdom and romance.
• Andrew Vande Moere for information aesthetics for bringing together information and ae... er... wait, for bringing together knowledge and beauty in such a great way. (Much better).
• Everyone involved in PostSecret which despite its uber-famousness in the world of blogdom has given many people a forum in which to open their hearts, express their art, and otherwise inspire or horrify. It never fails to make me think. And despite the fact that I know that it is unlikely that they will continue this meme... I couldn't not acknowledge how great I think their blog is.
• {Honorary mention: the now acclaimed Ze Frank who coined the phrase "thinking so you don't have to." I have a serious blog-crush on this guy. He combines funny with thoughtful and shocking all of the time and I don't know what I have enjoyed more thoroughly than his one-year "The Show", and his continued blog which varies and combines the ridiculous with the deeply introspective with "silly happy kidness". But he's too famous to get an *actual* award. Sorry, Ze. ;)}

Labels: beyond entertainment, brains, cheesy, sometimes other people are much more creative than i am. ;), token valentine's day mention, writing inspiration

I'm starting to think that I live more in my computer than in the real world lately. . . and that this is decidedly unhealthy. It limits my senses to sight and sound for the hours I spend staring at the screen, because while I could lick the keyboard occasionally (surely some crumbs are in there somewhere), sniff the monitor or put sandpaper and velvet on my desk to stimulate myself further, there is an unreality about living life this way. Certainly, the time I spend on my bike to and from work fills me with well-being in a way that time in front of the computer never does.

So, I am going to ration. Like any good addict, I need to withdraw gradually so that I don't get the shakes. I'm giving myself an hour a day for the next month, and then wean myself down from there.

I'm going to live. I'm going to pull out my unused brand-new running shoes and go for a wheezing run, meet up with friends, create things with my hands and paper, fabric, and food, make things for other people and myself, clean out my closet (OK, that doesn't sound appealing at all), take classes again, play my new piano (which is arriving next week!!!!), read more, and most importantly... find my muse again. (Who knows, there may be multiple muses... What do you call a male muse? I know that officially there are only the Greek ones, all women... OK, mine are called Hughs.) ... find my hughs again. (Nah. That doesn't really work does it? Clearly, my creativity needs some work.)

I've become such a hermit for the past few months, I think partly out of some strange, good, bad, hard introspection I've been subjecting myself to lately. (The computer/internet is a great escape from thinking about hard things.)

Between the blogs I visit regularly, e-mail, FB stalking, online games and comparative shopping, I add hours to the time I spend in front of the computer at work.

So, no more. I have 15 minutes left in today's allotment and I will shut down. Tonight I want to DO something. And hopefully something that I can taste, smell or touch or see and hear in a different way. I will stimulate my dormant senses, maybe eat a habanero chili pepper, blow my nose repeatedly with tears flowing down my cheeks, stuff several pieces of bread into my mouth, all the while trying to blow my nose, feel the mucus membrane on the inside of my mouth swell, touch my eye by accident ... OK, that's a bad idea. But I'll do something interesting. :)

Look back on ya tomorrow.

Here's to life.

Labels: being alive, brains, choices, interpreting and reinterpreting