When I was a kid/teen, I often felt overwhelmed by my parents' protectiveness and their attempts to control my behavior and activities. While I do think it was excessive... I think I understand it better now.
It has to do with loving and needing someone. Over the past couple of years, I have felt these surges of protectiveness and it is accompanied by an unconscious sense of the helplessness I would feel if I lost certain people in my life. I have not acted on the impulse of protectiveness... but now I get it.
It's come to me only after I've lost people who I love... after becoming unhappily acquainted with grief beyond theory. I feel the wave of wanting to hold on and the fear of loss. But I stand back and will try to appreciate what I have more.
